TOPIC:

Confession: the ".. & then some" bit is my way of intimating that whatever it was that I'd envisaged contributing to these pages when I had completed that post on the 16th Otoberr, has been altered drastically over the short passage of time between then and now, The very latest is that I will undergo a five day course of radiotherapy starting next week, which in itself will of give rise to its own storyline....

Between early November and late December 2017 I underwent 6 weeks of what the doctors described as "radical radiotherapy treatment" for the tumour in my throat. Just as was predicted I was able to "cope" with the side affects of this treatment for three weeks. Come the 16th day of my treatment it bacame obvious to everyone, myself included, that I could no longer work or continue to make my own way to the hospital. By this time I was incredibly weak as I'd long since lost all sense of taste after the 2nd day hadn't eaten anything solid! Because of the damage to my saliva glands the inside of my mouth was in a horrible state! And the pain.... Jeez talk about pain! I can laugh about it now but considering the loss of taste, plus the pain for which I refused to take anything besides soluble paracetemol because swallowing anything was just pure torture and I was scared about the possibility of becoming addicted to morphine or stronger pain kilers, you may be able to understand that all in all it was an awful time! I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

By the end of the 1st week in December the doctors sat me down and stated in no uncertain terms what were likely to be the consequences of my refusal to eat or take anything stronger for the pain. They got nowhere with the pain killers though as I stuck to sucking my paracetemol juice through a straw and howling in pain everytime I swallowed a mouthfull. Eventually I took their admonishment regarding nourishgment on board and after about a dozen attempts over 2 days they finally rigged me up with a feeding tube so that I could take liquid nutrients (highly caloroific) on board. What a palaver! ... and again I am laughing at the recollections of this period bas it reminds me how I did involuntarily sneeze that tube out through my nostril time after time. Ah well.

As soon as I returned from my treatment at the hospital I'd get straight into bed as it was a struggle to muster the energy to do anything apart from pull the calorific liquid into my syringe and press the plunger sending it squirting down the tubing and into my gut ... and yes though I won't distress your senses by forcing you to read all about it in detail I did became quite reliant on Dulcolax® in pessary form!

What about your hairloss?, Yes I did lose a bit at the back of my head just above where a shirt collar would reach but not so much as you'd notice. However, we often read about hair loss as a consequence of chemotherapy but the wonderful feel of the new growth is seldom mentioned! It's softness and newness is reminiscent of s babies hair. Even today I smile whenever I see a patient displaying th etell-tale signs of the new growth of hair after chemo. Insofar as facial hair goes, till now I really don't have any need to shave the left side of my face and for many, many months I was unable to grow a moustache.I did experience some thinning of my lower eyelashes but all is well on that score now.

It wasn't till early February 2018 that I had the feeding tube removed and so was forced to face-up to the physical act of swallowing! Painful, very, very painful plus the impact of the damage caused to my saliva glands together with the loss of taste! Altogether horrible and difficult - but life goes on and I was happy to be alive! In the last week of February I was able to restart work taking time of f as needed to attend the myriad of appointments that one has after such treatment as I had gone through. I'd long sinced discontinued any of the alternative treatments that I had been taking so the medical route was my only ticket in the lottery so to speak.

Slowly but surely I recovered my strength and most of the more intrusive symmtoms of the treatment slowly reduced in impact. By end of March I no longer needed the paracettemol, however prior to this we worked out that I seem to have a high pain treshold and so had been inclined to dismiss it till we worked out my bolting heart rate was the giveaway that despite my protestations I was actually in a lot of pain.

In late March, my scans revealed that despite all the treatment I'd had the tumour hadn't reduced as much as they'd hoped it would . However the swelling from just beneath my earlobe and up alomg the side of my face had disappeared entirely - the chemo did that. By early April, I was told that upon closer examination of my scans one of the doctors had an idea to forward them to a surgeon he knew for a second opinion about the potential for me to have surgery, Up till then the general opinion was that the tumour was so deeply embedded in vital organs and tissue in the throat area that surgery was risky!

In late May I had the surgery - 4 hours - and upon waking felt ever so light in the sense of being relieved of a heavy load. The morning after when I was told that they had managed to remove all of the tumor I then umderstood from where the lightness stemmed, Talk about relief! However the surgery was brutal! I remember beforehand asking the surgeon if i'd be left with any form of physical disfugurement, to which he matter of factly replied that I was disfigured anyway! Once he'd removed the large tunour, they borrowed the pectoral muscle in my left side to pack and rebuild the left side of my neck extending toward the back of my head. Brutal but expertly done. I spent a day and a half in hospital, was then discharged to return to week about 6 days after admission. And then started another recovery phase ....

Amongst the side-effects of radiotherapy to the head. neck & throat area is a marked loss of strength in the muscles of the jaw and throat! This means thatt I now find myself unable to open my mouth as widely as I once was. Imagine no longer being able to get your mouth around a sandwich comprising two standard slices of bread! To help counteract this I was given a series of exercises aimed at strengthening and keeping these muscles as flexible as possible. Without having done these I shudder to think of the shape I would have been in! Nonetheless I've had to accept that this impairment will be around for the rest of my days!

I've also had to maintain a strict exercise regime to help rebuild and strengthen my pectoral muscles (left side) so as to ensure that I maximise the range of motion that I have in my left arm. I've also been left with some minor nerve damage which is evidenced by assorted muscle twitches in the face, jaw, and lips . These started off being barely perceptible but as time passes are growing strongerI From time to tme I have some muscle aches in the neck and upper left arm but no pain management needed.

At the beginning of August 2018 I had my first scan post surgery .... At my consultation towards the end of the month I got the news that the scan revealed a suspicious small mass in my neck and that the squamous cell carcinoma had matastasize in my left lung! This news was so devastating that I didn't feel able to share it with anyone for about a fortnght, by which time I had signed all the necessary consent forms for another course of chemotherapy commencing a few days therafter. The plan was that I'd have this treatment weekly as an out-patient with the drug being delivered intravenously from a flask that I'd wear on my hip.

Given that this is the worldwide web it may be informative for me to point out that all of the treatment, surgery, consultations, medicines, transport, hospital admissions etc that I have referred to in this topic has been received free at the point of access - meaning that at no time did I have to concern myself about the cost! Yes, we do "pay" for any healthcare we obtain from the National Health Service as a part of the automatic deductions that are made from our monthly income, but compared to the United States for instance, we are extremely fortunate. Additionally, I have nothing but the highest praise for the professionalism, sincereity and committment of the doctors, nurses, support staff that have cared for me! And with reference to the Hippocratic oath, I have never had cause to question their manner, intent or actions They have all been wonderful and I will be eternally grateful,

Everything I've written - and will write - on this topic recounts the well-intentioned efforts and decisions I've made in an attempt to recover my health after receiving my cancer diagnosis. I have no regrets over the time I spent resisting conventional cancer medicine in order to understand more about the disease and learn from the experiences of others. TIme spent becoming familiar with MMS. DMSO and other potential alternative treatments and using all of that information and advice to assess their potential/viability for someone in my situation.

And notwithstanding the cancer, there is no aspect of my quality of life that gives rise to my having thoughts or feelings of reproach directed toward my self. I have all faith and trust in The Most High and for as lomg as I remain on this side of being I will stay in love with the existence & life I've been blessed with.

Thanks to you too CLO2 & I hope that all is well with yourself and loved ones ..

To continue in the spirit of the last post for a wee bit, I can also say that based on my experience and at the level which I as a patient engaged with 'the system' I have not percieved any covert or overt influence of so-called BIG PHARMA. For various reasons the issue of drug pricing is now becoming part of the mainstream conversation here in the UK, with the potential for US based drug manufacturers obtaining a larger share of the National Health Service medicines budget giving rise for a lot of concern. We will see how this plays out ...

Staying topical for a little while longe. Politically, we in the UK are living through some very interesting times as a result of the BREXIT phenomena. Earlier this year I recall having a few lighthearted converesations with the nurses after noticing that some of the equipment being used in my treatment was not of the usual colour. Upon enquiring how so, I was told that the amber tubing being used on that day was part of emergency stockpile as the hospital had run of the usual transparent ones due to Brexit uncertainty having disrupted the supply chain - I kid you not. Of course the colour of a bit of tubing made absolutely no difference in my treatment but the underlying cause i.e supply chaing disruption as a result of Brexit uncertainty is definitely something for which contingency plans need be made.

From an entirely personal perspective it was indeed heartening for me to read recenly that here in the UK the HPV vaccine is to be also offered to boys. Of course every parent will have to make their own decision as to whether they see this as a positive or yet another example of BIG PHARMA & GOVERNMENT conspiring to subject the population to invasive medical interventions in order to administer so-called medicines. It is the hope that these vaccines will help protect those who may be susceptible from falling foul of HPV induced cancer.

Back to side effects of radiotherapy. Skin, yes I did experience some low level 'burning' and changes to the appearance and texture of my skin in the area where I was treated ie face, neck, chest. I was given an Aloe based cream to apply to all of the affected areas so as to help with soothing, moisturing and skin peeling. In my experience using this cream was/is a must do. Though these skin changes can be longer term, I did not experience any deep burning or breakage to the surface of my skin. Finger nails - I've noticed that I need to clip my fingers for more regularly than I used to. It could be due to advancing old-age :woohoo.

On that note I will end this post and take a short break from the forum in order to focus on some more of the ... & then some bits. Whether or not I will back is entirely in the hands of The Most High so we will have to wait and see. I've found that there has been pleasantly therapeutic quality to this renewed engagement with the forum so I am glad that I acted on the thought to share a few words on my experience as a cancer patient. I wish you all the best with your health recovery efforts and thanks to the forum admin for tolerating my going way far of the MMS topic.